Growing Up and Moving On: Matters to Discuss with Your Parents

adult children with their parents

Whether you have a great relationship with your parents or not, there are still instances where you need to communicate about some aspects of each other’s life as you get older. It is not uncommon for adults to forget about calling their mom or dad. However, talking openly to those who raised you can be beneficial for the mental health of both parties. This reduces strain on either end as it reminds them that there are others in their life willing to look after them.

Last year, as many became unemployed, some sought help from their parents for financial aid. It may be a good temporary fix for those who did not prepare enough in their emergency fund. However, relying on their parents to pay for their expenses can damage the prospects on both sides.

By providing for their children even when they are capable of work and are at a legal age, they can foster a sense of complacency. This can potentially harm their child’s resilience in a tough job market. At the same time, the retirement funds might end up being depleted the longer the parent has to provide for their son or daughter.

Therefore, it is crucial to set boundaries within the parent-child relationship, especially as they get older. The lines can easily get blurred when neither discuss their preferences and allow one to take over the other’s life. After all, they are both adults and should be responsible for their respective lives. Here are the top two things parents and children should communicate about if they want to avoid further strain on the relationship:


As parents and their children get older, both often prefer to have a place on their own. While one begins life with their own family, the other finally has the opportunity to be by themselves after decades of providing for their child.

Health care options at home are an excellent solution for older parents to be attended to without burdening the responsibility on their son or daughter. It ensures that the elderly will have their medical concerns attended to and that their children can focus on the stresses that are likely to be present in their family.

Conversely, even though children may always be welcome to live with their parents, the costs of providing for the daily needs of their adult son or daughter can have an impact on the little income (if any) of retired individuals. When parents plan for their future, they often predict that their child will no longer live with them after twenty years. This means that the retirement fund they prepare will likely be for their expenses and that it does not include a high contingency in the instance that their offspring will live with them.

Misunderstandings are less likely to occur when there is an open discussion regarding the housing situation for both the parents and their grown children. It is one way for conflict to be avoided as the preferences for either party are laid bare. Furthermore, the distance between them can be a means to strengthen their relationship.

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Money plays a big part in the relationship between family members. It allows parents to provide for their children’s needs and, if they have enough, allot some time to bond. To avoid disappointing and harming their children, being a responsible provider means that the parents must have enough to send them to school, feed them, house them, clothe them, and so on until their offspring can do so for themselves. Once the children become adults and gain their financial independence, the parent must make the decision to cut them off.

On the other hand, there are instances where the parents are in need of support. The child should be comfortable enough to dwell on this responsibility while capable of providing for their own family (if they have one). It is important for everyone to set aside money for their retirement as early as possible to avoid this dilemma.

Multiple conversations about finance can be a challenging endeavor for both the parent and child. Without these discussions, either party can face disappointment, regret, and possibly even betrayal in the long run. Transparency is vital if they want to have an open and honest relationship, including talking about money.

The connection between a parent and their child can become complicated as they get older. This will only be resolved through frequent, open catch-ups, leaving little room for guesses if they genuinely want a stronger relationship with one another.

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